My January days were ordinary. Mostly mundane. Slow. I read a lot, walked a lot, cooked a decent amount, finished a couple of puzzles with Kyle while we watched a few shows…
It was slow, but it was lovely. I’m going to miss these hibernation days of winter & newlywed life.
Up to even a few months ago, slowness unsettled me. My life has typically been fast-paced, heavily involved, and just busy with ministry commitments, school, relationships, and, at times, two to three jobs to help pay my bills while I was single and in school. Stress has been a common companion, and historically I haven’t really known what to do with downtime. While I would rest at times, it typically would be a result of burning out, procrastinating out of a sense of exhaustion, and working out of a place of self-reliance.
One of my top 5 strengths on the Strengths Finder test is Activator. I love to take action and make things happen. But, as they say, your strengths typically manifest themselves as weaknesses at times too. So my “Activator” strength can also look like seeking control over my future or circumstances, drawing my significance or purpose from my roles/responsibilities/relationships/commitments.
After Kyle and I got married, we flew to Portugal for our honeymoon, had a great week, then flew back to Ohio. While Kyle went back to work and the classes he’s taking for his degree, I essentially had nothing aside from my new marriage. Of course, this marriage was absolutely a gift (still is!), but I really struggled.
Kyle and I can laugh about it now, but those first six weeks or so of our marriage were hard, not so much because of marriage itself, but because of all the changes that came along with it in our case. I had never moved away from Michigan before, and I left a very rooted community. Kyle was balancing full-time school and full-time work, and we were both navigating what it meant to make decisions and live life as one unit rather than two independent ones.
I struggled with the slowness:
The slowness of navigating the beginning weeks of marriage.
The slowness of an emptier social calendar.
The slowness of developing a deep community at church.
The slowness of cooking actual food for dinner.
The slowness of living in a more rural area instead of right outside Detroit.
The slowness of learning a new job.
The slowness of a budget.
The slowness of working from home.
Everything felt so slow, and I felt so unsettled.
St. Augustine wrote, “You have made us for Yourself, O Lord, and our heart is restless until it rests in You.”
And it wasn’t until I did actually rest in Him that my heart began to change. I was coming to the Lord most mornings in a place of complete dependence. I didn’t know what to do because the steps forward were so unclear. I felt at a standstill.
I have been going through the one-year/now two-year (for me! ha) Bible Recap reading plan. Last fall I was reading Proverbs, and as I read each morning, the Spirit began to speak in a common theme.
Throughout the entire book of Proverbs, we see a contrast between the way of Wisdom and the way of Folly (or foolishness). The way of foolishness is compared many times in this book to adultery — filled with hiding and instant gratification. There is ignorance: “[the one who follows folly] does not know that it will cost him his life.” (7:23) Whereas, the way of wisdom is not fast, not instant gratification. It is slow, steady — it requires “watching daily,” “waiting,” and “[listening]”(8:34). And it is the Ancient, Timeless Way, going back to the very Creation of our world. Wisdom was there with God as He created with delight (8:22-31).
Proverbs 13:11 reminds us that “Wealth gained hastily will dwindle, but whoever gathers little by little will increase it.” Similarly, Proverbs 28:20 says that, “A faithful man will abound in blessings, but whoever hastens to be rich will not go unpunished.” There is wisdom and life in step-by-step, patient, slow and steady growth.
Many times in my life before, I likely missed a lot of opportunities for greater wisdom and peace because I was so focused on a different place or season I’d rather be in, instead of embracing the hard and holy of now. In my slower days, my prayer became that I would be a slower and steadier woman who seeks the Lord, to know Him more deeply and thereby to gain wisdom wherever I am. That He would help me to wait on Him, so that I could know Him in a way I would not know if I weren’t in that specific place or season of life. And that I would gain wisdom and insight to later help others and myself, as I became a woman (slowly) who is “stable and steadfast” (Colossians 1:23), waiting on the Lord and walking in wisdom.
And so He began to change me before He changed my circumstances. In that, though, there has been a greater joy beceause my trust in Him is not tethered to a set of outcomes, but in His care and kindness.
All that to say, our January was slow, and that doesn’t bother me, which is growth. (Cue the hallelujah chorus.)
There were some highlights in January too. We drove up to Michigan twice to celebrate a belated Christmas in my parents’ new home and the start of a good friend’s marriage at her wedding. I joined another friend for the 75 Hard Challenge, and while I kind of hate it sometimes, I also have been walking outside every day and reading more than I have in while. (Did you see 4 whole books in a month?!? Honestly, I’m proud.) Kyle & I shared brief versions of our testimonies and were welcomed as new members of our church, a sweet thing I’m so thankful we got to do together. I officially moved into a full-time job at She Reads Truth after working in a seasonal position for Advent, and I have started to get more involved in our church’s growing women’s ministry. It was a slow month, but with some initial glimmers of clarity on what God has been working out in our daily faithfulness, after a long stretch of difficult unknowns and uncomfortable transitions.
Last fall, during my own slow season, God also used the book Growing Slow by Jennifer Dukes Lee a lot in my life. The following words are a reminder of how often God has spoken through His Word and His people on the slower & better way of faithfulness.
“The Colossians lived in a city surrounded by fields that yielded olives and figs. Farmers pastured sheep, which contributed to a thriving wool industry. In Latin, the dyed red wool was called colossinum, an indication of the city’s namesake.
Deep roots mattered on those farms — and in the hearts of first-century believers. In Paul’s letter to the Colossians, he spoke to them in terms they would have understood: farming terms. He wrote:
Let your roots grow down into Him, and let your lives be built on Him. Then, your faith will grow strong in the truth you were taught, and you will overflow with thankfulness.
This slow growth, this is what we were made for — with roots growing deep, growing. strong in truth. This is the way to sustainable growth in our families, our friendships, and our faith journeys.
It is possible.
And it is the way of Christ.”
In 2023, may it be so.
Manna Sweet like Honey
My favorite story in the Bible is Exodus 16, when God provides manna (essentially bread) EVERY DAY for forty years for the Israelites while they’re in the wilderness. You can read that story yourself, but some key points about this provision are 1) the transient nature of the manna and 2) its taste which was described as “sweet like honey.” It was the perfectly-portioned provision that not only met their need for that day and season, but was also sweet to the taste — an unnecessary detail that shows God’s care and grace. We too should be on the lookout for the sweet ways God cares for us in our days. Here are a few examples of my “manna” lately, in all its forms.
What I’ve Read
How to Listen to God by Charles Stanley
Advent 2022: Joy of Every Longing Heart from She Reads Truth
Liturgy of the Ordinary: Sacred Practices in Everyday Life by Tish Harrison Warren***
The Midnight Library by Matt Haig***
and still reading…
You’re Only Human: How Your Limits Reflect God’s Good Design and Why That’s Good News by Kelly M. Kapic
Anxious People by Fredrik Backman
Tell It Slant: Writing and Shaping Creative Nonfiction by Brenda Miller
Deep Work: Rules for Focused Success in a Distracted World by Cal Newport
What I’ve Been Cooking
The holidays caught up with us, and we started the new year sick. This chicken noodle soup was so good. I wouldn’t have thought to add turmeric and lemon juice, but they were incredible. We used very much gluten-ized noodles rather than gluten-free, and I threw in rotisserie chicken.
I’ve shared these before, but I have made these chocolate peanut butter protein balls so many times. So good, like healthier cookie dough!
This balsamic vinaigrette, minus the dijon mustard and using flavored balsamic vinegar. Super quick and easy.
Kyle decoded the Instant Pot for us, so we tried this Thai Peanut Chicken Ramen recipe with the instant pot. I’ve made it on the stovetop, but this was even easier!
Since our newly-found confidence with the Instant Pot, we also made this Tuscan White Bean and Lemon Soup last night in the Instant Pot rather than the crockpot since we started dinner plans late. We subbed couscous instead of quinoa. So good for a winter meal!
Other Things I’ve Been Loving Lately
This podcast — Into the Dark — was so addicting! It’s an investigative journalism podcast that was so engaging to listen to, even though each episode is 45 minutes - 1 hour long. Season 2 is the one we listened to, starting on our drive to Washington DC and Pennsylvania for Christmas and we finally finished a few weeks ago. The journalists dive into a quadruple murder case that charged a man named Curtis Flowers to death row twenty + years ago, but on very weak evidence. So weak, he was tried 6 times before this show started! The podcast was so in-depth and influential, it led to this case being brought to the Supreme Court in 2019 for racially discriminant practices. Although I’m not usually big on “true crime” type of shows, Kyle & I got so into this story!
“Abbott Elementary” on Hulu — an Office-esque sitcom based on the story of a group of quirky teachers at an inner-city Philadelphia elementary school. Sweet, funny, and so real if you are or were a teacher. We just started this and are almost done with season one, ha.
That’s all for today! I’ll see ya same time next month for another reflection and favorite things receap, and likely before then with some other words. ;) Until then, I’d love to hear what you learned and loved in January!
The slowness of ordinary days & the God who ordains them