My Very Normal, Very Good List

and finding gratitude in the middle

I was inspired by Katie Blackburn’s post here to create my own “very normal list.” It reminds me of the “I Love…” lists that were going around last year, which I shared here.

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It’s really easy to go about life, especially in waiting or “in-between” seasons (are there really such things, though?) as if we were Alexander. You know the children’s book character, the one with the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day? That kind of thinking tends to be the path of least resistance.

The path that does tend to lend itself to more resistance and effort is gratitude. Gratitude is a discipline. And as a friend recently shared with me, Hebrews 12:11 points out, “For the moment all discipline seems painful rather than pleasant, but later it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it.” In the larger context of this passage, the author of Hebrews seems to primarily be referring to discipline in terms of temporary trials that shape our character and endurance. I would argue this verse is also applicable though to spiritual disciplines, which aligns with the running analogy earlier in verses 1-2. Just as a runner requires discipline to finish the race well, we also need spiritual disciplines such as gratitude — not to earn a “reward” of salvation, for that is already ours in Christ, but to experience the freedom and fruit that is also ours in Him.

Gratitude isn’t a cold dismissal of the unmet longings, relational aches, or spiritual wrestlings of the day, or at least it shouldn’t be used in that way. Instead, it is a redirection of our minds to what is good, beautiful, and true. So here is my list — yes, in honor of Thanksgiving, but also because my heart needs it too.

I’m thankful for #1 my husband and #2 these newlywed days. I prayed for over twelve years for a man like him, and God gave me His very best. My half-joking/half-serious prayers to “raise to life my dead hopes for marriage and to call into existence the husband that does not yet exist” (loose translation of Romans 4:17) were answered, and here we are. Through a season of full-time work/full-time school plus a lot of change, we’ve been going through what feels like the “accelerated program for newlyweds” — lessons on how to communicate, prioritize, extend grace and forgive. We’re learning how to curb and communicate expectations and create better ones together. Through this, I’m grateful for the foundation I see God helping us build in these early days. As a friend wrote in a wedding card to us, Life is hard, but marriage doesn’t have to be. I’m thankful that I’ve seen that to be true, despite the fears I held coming into it.

#3 is an apartment with a gas fireplace. Every morning I make coffee, put on #4 these slippers, and literally flip a switch that starts a cozy fire in our living room. I know it’s nothing like the real thing, but honestly, it’s my favorite part of fall/winter mornings right now. I’ve lived in four other apartments, and I don’t really know how I ever lived without this.

#5 is Bible Recap. Even though I started on January 1st prepared to finish the whole Bible in a year, I’m definitely only on day 184. And yet, I’m grateful to have some guidance on where to open my Bible each morning (after I turn on said fireplace). Spending 2.5 years in seminary writing papers on theological concepts and reading articles on which so-and-so agrees with this-and-that interpretive theory was valuable in stretching my mind to think deeply and critically. However, there truly is nothing like just sitting with the open Word, hearing from the Spirit as He highlights phrases in Old Testament narratives like “This is a light thing in the sight of the LORD” (2 Kings 3:18), and being reminded of the true and steady character of God. Not for a paper, but for my own heart.

Piggy-backing off #3 is #6 an apartment with a sunroom. Again, I honestly don’t know how I ever lived without this. Every morning after I sit in front of the fireplace with my Bible and coffee, I move to the sunroom and open my computer at 8 am to start working. Never having worked fully remotely, this space with all its windows (the natural light!!) has helped me so much with that transition.

Plus look at all the space for my BOOKS!

#7 is work, and the ways God has used my jobs to change me. During my years as a middle school English teacher, I learned the power of daily discipleship in the lives of students (and to never underestimate 12-14 year olds!). When I was a nanny, I learned the beauty of small acts over the long haul, like teaching preschoolers about responsibility for the 2380th time or calming tantrums over stolen toys until suddenly they’re almost-pre-teens who you genuinely want to hang out with. Working at a pregnancy center slowed my tongue to ask questions and listen rather than jumping into “teacher mode,” and developed my passion for the unborn and the women carrying them. Even working in lawn care taught me that God provides in surprising ways (and gave me great arms for a summer!).

Now I’m thankful for a short-term, fully-remote job at a Christian company I’ve admired since college. I’m grateful for the flexibility it’s provided and the opportunity to practice faithfulness in seemingly small acts, knowing that God uses all things for His good. And I’m growing to trust that when my time there is done, He who called me will still be faithful (1 Thessalonians 5:24) and He will fulfill His purposes for me (Psalm 57:2; 138:8), as He continues to do.

On that note, #8 is the book Every Moment Holy, specifically the “Liturgy for One Who is Employed.” Every morning I begin my work day by borrowing its words for my own prayers. Lines such as

O Christ who supplies my every need,
I praise You for all provisions
and for the means by which they are provided. 
For my current employment,
in this season of life, I give You thanks.
By it, may I meet my own needs,
and contribute to the needs of others...

and

...in all my dealings with others in this work, [remind] me that my treatment of them is the strongest evidence of my affection for You.

and

May the days of my employment here be meaningful. Use this chapter of my life to accomplish Your ends, whatever they might be.

and

May my presence here daily suggest Your presence here.

ground my heart and mind in divine purpose. Again — there is no insignificant role.

With that, #9 are songs from my Spotify Discover Weekly playlists that echo what God has been teaching me. Songs like “Let the Ground Rest” and “Time” and “Catch Me Singing” and “Tend” remind me that God is the good Gardener and what He plants, after winter, He will grow.

#10 next on the list are our cats. I went from never having any pets to now having two cats when I said “I do,” and honestly, I didn’t know I could love animals so deeply. How am I suddenly a cat person who responds to her cat’s “chirps” as if we’re in a real conversation and whose phone holds approximately 65% cat pictures now? I don’t know, but somehow I'm finding myself standing in the pet toys aisle of Target looking for Christmas gifts(?!?). Eventually, I’ll surrender to the reality that this is who I’ve become now.

#11 and #12 are Kroger Pick-up and Instacart deliveries. Despite the fact that I now live a 3.5-minute drive to the nearest Kroger, I still dread grocery shopping, so these are a godsend. That and #13 a husband who doesn’t mind grocery shopping for us.

The reason for so much grocery shopping (besides the fact that, yes, we’re human, so we need to eat) is #14 I’m learning to make time for and love cooking again. The past ten years of my life of not living with my parents or in a dorm have meant a lot of “snacky” dinners and take-out meals (especially post-2020, because I’msavingsmallbusinesses reasoning still counted, right?). Unless I was inviting someone over, I tended to lean towards what was “convenient,” which usually meant scrambled eggs, a random salad, or the occasional entire bag of Trader Joe’s plantain chips, and I’d call it good. So, I’m grateful for slowing down and feeding myself and others well. I’m also thankful for #15 cookbooks like this one and this one because I much prefer following recipes on tangible pages than a screen.

On days we don’t have an hour to try a new recipe, I’m thankful for #16 taco bowls which are quickly becoming part of the “Rohrer rotation.” During busy weeks when we only have 30 minutes between getting home from work and Kyle’s class or a church event, the simplicity of this meal helps us to still have dinner together and not just order pizza. (Though we do sometimes just order pizza.) Ground turkey, taco seasoning, two cans of black beans, chopped bell pepper and onions. Served with #17 90-second ready rice and #18 multigrain Tostitos (better than any other type). Finally, #19 is cotija cheese because it’s the best and I’m convinced this cheese makes these basic bowls feel a little less basic.

Next on my list are #20 are regular date nights, which often include the above taco bowls, and #21 “Parenthood” on Hulu. Remember that show? I watched it several years ago when it first aired, and somehow Kyle and I started watching it one date night when we couldn’t decide what else to choose. Now we’re almost done with season 3 and the Bravermans have a regular presence in our living room. I know when I look back on these initial months of our marriage, I’ll think back fondly on this show and the conversations it’s led to.

#22 are jigsaw puzzles. I think we legitimately have finished at least ten in our marriage so far. Donations welcome.

#23 are Michigan trips as I’ve navigated a new life here in Ohio. It’s an odd in-between of building new community at a great new church, but there’s nothing like being known. In Michigan there are friendships with roots spanning twenty plus years, and while I know relationships like that take time, I’m grateful that I live close enough to make the drive sometimes. And while my parents get ready to move from my childhood home, I’m grateful for increasing peace in change and family — both the ones Kyle and I came from and the one we are establishing.

I could list more, but I’ll close there for now. Take some time to make your own list, even if it’s just a mental one. And I’d love to hear them! These are the days that the LORD has made; may we rejoice and be glad in them.

Happy Thanksgiving!